McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
