This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
