I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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