I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
