Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
