did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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