i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
