The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
