carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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