Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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