Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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