I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
