Don't make out with my wife yet
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
