TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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