If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Found your dick twin last night
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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