I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
