I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
