so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
