i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
