WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
