The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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