I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
