I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
