dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
