Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
