guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
