She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
