She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
