Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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