why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
