Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
