so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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