Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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