My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
