Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
