Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
