i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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