Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
