During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
