i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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