if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
