Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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