i just google imaged poop.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
