Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
