How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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