nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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