Got a toothbrush?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
