so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
