Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
