How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Randomize
